It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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