Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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