so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
