they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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