Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
