Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
