YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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