The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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