Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
