Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
