TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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