man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize