How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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