O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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