Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
