how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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