did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
