Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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