She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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