I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize