i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
