I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
