We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
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He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
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At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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