I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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