He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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