That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
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He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
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I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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