Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
