i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Can you bring me the toilet please
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
