why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
