Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
