my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
