my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
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This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
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First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
i out mim tonsoeep
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