He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
