I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
