remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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