I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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