What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
