So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
