life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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