I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
do herpes really smell.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
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