She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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