after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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