Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
