the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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