In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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