that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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