hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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