I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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