Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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