Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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