I didn't shave. On purpose
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize