My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
