I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
