I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
