Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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