sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
