lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
