i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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