Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
