so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
