i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize