In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
