Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm sobbing to NWA
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
