I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm both gender and math confused
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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