forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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