He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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