sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
